The Dark Side of the Light Chasers

Why is our spirituality so far removed from our daily life? How come our experiences in meditation and prayer don't always carry over into our work, our families, our friends? How come we know we are all One, when it's been so clearly shown to us that there is no separation and that, damn it! We are loved! We are loved! We still behave as if there are separate beings out there wanting to attack us, who have nothing better to do than attack, which we have to defend, because, damn it! Those BITCHES, BRATS and ASSHOLES keep wanting to just FUCK US UP! And apparently, they can, because, you know, supposedly, we are incomplete, vulnerable beings with separate bodies that can actually be hurt and destroyed. Why do we sometimes, or perhaps even always, forget the truth we learnt in our direct experiences of Truth - that no matter what, we are loved, in fact we ARE Love Itself, that we are complete and whole and perfect, and therefore, totally invulnerable and can never be hurt nor attacked in any way.

Why can't we see that every person who comes into our lives is a blessed angel, either loving us deeply, with their penetrating consciousness, or loving us widely with their light, or when not loving us, simply giving us the opportunity to love, to be the love we seek - and giving us this opportunity as an act of love. To quote the Little Soul and the Sun: "I will be that soul. I will be the one who does something 'unforgivable' to you so that you can be forgiveness."

I think I know why. It is because free will dictates that one experience of Truth does not determine another, because every moment, we get to choose Love and Joy, because there is always the choice NOT to, including the choice to believe that we have no choice, that we are powerless beings buffeted and tossed around by the words and whims of others, because we are so LOVED, so LOVED, free will will not be taken from us just because of one experience of Truth.

And so I wrote the following poem, in honor of Debbie Ford, author of the book "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers", one of the best books ever:

I am the coward and the brave one. And I am neither.

I am the genius and the dumbass. And I am neither.

I am the traitor and the betrayed. And I am neither.

I am cheater and the cheated. And I am neither.

I am the player/sport-fucker, and I am the ethical slut. And I am neither.

I am the mindful, oh-so-spiritual person, and so I am oh-so-special, and, you know, so very different from those mindless robots out there, and I am the mindless robot. And I am neither.

I am the saint and the asshole. And I am neither.

I am the unabashed, remorseless judge who judges and is very proud of being judgmental and gives no excuses for being judgmental and finds no reason to defend against being judgmental,

and I am the judge who claims to be not judgmental because he is afraid of being judged as judgmental. And I am neither.

I am the victim and the villain. And I am neither.

I am also one who know thats there are no victims and villains - only Love, and the opportunity for Love and forgiveness. I am one who knows that emotions are not perceived - they are manufactured.

I am the screaming lunatic who screams back at the other lunatic.

I am the Love who sees only Love as he screams and says quietly, "I be still and look at the sight of God." And there before me, all forms disappear and only Love remains.

I am the world. The world is in me, not metaphorically, not figuratively, but literally, literally, literally, and so when the call for Love, the opportunity for Love, presents itself before me, the best response it to love myself deeply, even more deeply and widely than I have ever loved before, but with the complete awareness that the world is in me, IS me, I am the world, and I am in Love.