Memo to God

I come to you with both love and confusion in my heart. Some days I feel certain. I feel your love and peace. I am grateful for life. Other days I am lost. I question things. I worry. I procrastinate. Do you test me or do I test myself? Is there a deeper meaning to life? Are we truly on the edge of evolutionary leap in consciousness or am I needing to believe something that is not there because I am delusional?

Is confusion a delusion? One day I am perfectly happy and mentally peaceful and the next day I am so self and other critical that I want to have a head replacement. Am I headed in the right direction? Is something happenning here? One day I think nothin is happenning and the next day I think too much is going on. I think you can see the problem.

Free me from this back and forth mental mania. My heart can no longer stand the bondage of my mind. I hunger for your continuing joy and constant peace. I have become your fruit and cannot bear to be taken from your vine. I have tasted the divine and can no longer quench my thirst with earthly wine. Liberate me from my fluctuating states of consciousness so that I might dwell permanently in your love and tenderness.

Please heed my need and get back to me ASAP!

~ Anne Sermons Gillis, author of the book "Offbeat Prayers for the Modern Mystic" whom I also interviewed today on her Path.